CAUTION: Brainstorming session in progress

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Saturday, June 11, 2011

Author KB Cutter on Character Points of View (POV) - And he's giving away a book.


KB Cutter is a class act, and a very talented writer. No joke.
We're only beginning to see the tip of his abilities, and, hopefully, he'll lean in closer to the bus depot urinal so we don't see too much more it.

It's truly my honor to have KB here today. I consider him a superb writer, author, gentleman, and most of all… friend.
He also appreciates a good-looking lawn mower.
By the way -- KB's giving away a book to a random accusor! So leave a comment!

 
Many thanks to David for allowing me to blog today.  I'd like to chat about character POV. In writing terms, Point Of View refers to the -

"Excuse me."

"Uhm… Can I help you? I am in the middle of blog post."

"Yeah . . . a right boring one.   Can you say SNORE? You might as well call yourself K.B. NyQuil. You're gonna put everyone to sleep."

"Hold on one damn minute! I just got started. How do you know I'm going to bore people to death and who the hell are you?"

"Listen, Hemmingway, I'm your Muse, okay? I mean, who in their right mind would envision their creative inner essence clothed in knee-high black leather boots, studded leather bustier and name them Esmeralda?

"Well . . . I . . . uh . . ."

"Very articulate. Don't get me started on the pink flogger."

"Sorry folks. Bit of a technical glitch.  Moving right along, P.O.V is –

"Y-A-W-N!"

-Head-bang on wall-

"Sorry, K.B. that ain't gonna help, unless you want to hang a picture."

"This is embarrassing. What is it going to take for you to leave, Ms. Muse?"

"Hey, look, if you want me to beat feet, fine. Then, what are you gonna do, huh?  I'm the creative mojo that got you published. Or I can go on auto pilot. Make you crank out Lifetime movie-of-week-crap. I can see it now: Summer Beach Love: Men Suck by K.B. Cutter. Starring Tori Spelling and Shannon Doherty.

"I think I'm going to vomit . . ."

"Whoa, dude, don’t hurl chunks yet.  I'm hep to how you were fretting about this blog post.  I know you wanted to discuss character Point of View. I can dig where your writer's mind is at. Hell, I live it, Daddy-O. I'm here to help."

-Reaches for Pepto Bismal-
"Forget the over-the counter stuff, KBC. Go make yourself some peppermint tea and dry toast. Throw on your pink chiffon robe with matching bunny slippers. Get comfy, OK?"

"Uh.  Erm.  They were a gift. I mean, its rude not to wear them."

"Sure thing, whatever you say. Now, hear me out. I'm spitballin' here, I'll white-board the details later. So, as a writer, you want to get inside the head of your characters, dig?  Both male and female.  What do you do? You read other books, blogs and what-have-you. Ask other writer's for advice. Join a writing workshop, blah-blah-blah.  Very time consuming. I have the solution to all that ancillary research, its----"

"Now I know why biker's wear leather, cause this chiffon stuff wrinkles. Does the color pink make me look fat?"

"No K.B., just your head, listen up and don’t interrupt.  You are male and heterosexual, correct?"

"Flammingly hetero, Esmeralda."

"Oh, you got the flaming part down, alleged- Mister Cutter. My point is, when you want to get deep into a female character's P.O.V, you have to a bit of mental legwork. Not anymore, sir, my solution . . . drum-roll please . . .

Detachable genitalia.

Ack . . . gurgle . . . sputter  . . .

While K.B. is spewing Celestial Seasonings all over himself, I'll continue.  Here you are, hunkering down to get all feminine with your female character, simply pop off the penis and slap on the vagina.  Easy-Peasy. Not only can you totally immerse yourself in all things womanly, you can now stop and openly ask for directions at a gas station and cry your eyes out when Julia Roberts dies in Steel Magnolias. Conversely, when you want to get all mano a-mano, screw the penis back, which is also useful for parallel parking the car and leaving the toilet seat lid up."

"Wow . . . I don’t know what to say."

"I hear you, Mr. Writer man. You're speechless at my ingenuity."

"Um, yeah, ingenuity, that's it.  Stupid me, I thought if the writer invests themselves honestly, one hundred percent, in their characters, staying true to them emotionally and intellectually,  they would resonate with the readers. All of the so-called ancillary research would pay off."

O-M-G! B-o-r-i-n-g! If you want to be all twenty century, doing it the old-fashioned way, be my guest."

"I'm old school, Esmeralda, however, thank you for that enlightening idea."

"No worries, sir, that's my job. Speaking of which, I need some time off. This constant harassing of my creative Ju-Ju is wearing me out. I think there was a   little war fought about this indentured worker thing-a-ma-bob? In addition, I need to get out of this bustier. I can hardly breathe. And these boots. The spiked heels are killing me.  How about some Egyptian cotton, sensible shoes and normal working hours . . . say noon to three?"

"I'll take it under advisement."

"Don’t screw with me, K.B. or its Beach Blanket Passion, starring Meredith Baxter-Birney and Amanda Bearse."

"Oh dear God no! Okay, Okay, deal, anything but that!  Now where did I leave the Pepto Bismal . . .

Thanks again to David, a true gentleman for being brave and gracious to host not only me, but my eclectic Muse, Esmeralda.


I'd like to offer a free copy of Summer Heat and its sequel: Love, Revisited to a random commentator as a small token of thanks (and apologies for Esmeralda)


45 comments:

  1. Hewyhowyoudoin?

    -looks side to side-


    Is there another cat here named KB Cutter trying to steal my thunder? You talkin' about me, David?

    -toothy grin-

    Extremely kind words, sir. I am flattered beyond articulation.

    Oh, I shan't expose myself unnecessarily. I'll move closer to the urinal.

    Brrrr.

    Dang, the water is cold.

    And deep . . .

    Correct, David. A man is measured by his equipment. And boy, do I have a powerful, meaty tool.

    John Deere tractor/mower.

    Hot.



    It is an honor and pleasure to be here today.

    My goody bag is full and I promise I did not swipe it from a kiddie party on the way over.

    I'd like to offer a free copy of Killing Apathy AND a PDF copy of my Kindle published zombie tale-Dead Fall in addition to copies of Summer Heat and Love Revisited, for those who wish darker fare.

    Click on my website link David was kind enough to provide and check out those stories.

    Side note: I just came home from a hellish 12 hr night shift. I must go make love to my pillow and I shall return later to play.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Get some rest.
    In all seriousness, thanks for your law enforcement service.
    Okay. Done with seriousness.
    When you come back, make sure your night stick is nice and polished, and you have the red high heels on. I promised some ladies you look really good in heels. Well, Margie Church said you do anyway.

    Deep?
    Oh. You mean the Dixie cup?

    ReplyDelete
  3. KD, what were you doing up at four a.m. to post this?

    Nice to meet you, KB. Remember to play.
    http://xkcd.com/335/

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi Amber,
    Actually, I'm frequently up at 4am.
    But this post went up thanks to that marvelous invention "the timer."

    ReplyDelete
  5. You rang, David? You boys are nothing but a 5-gallon pail of wrong.

    Recently, I was lucky to win a deluxe package of dildos in a Twitter contest. After I read the detachable genitalia portion of your blog, I went upstairs and unlocked my walk-in vault. This, my pretties, is where I keep all the toys and accoutrements of my trade that I paid hard-earned cash for at WalMart. I have a blue flogger since I'm a Domme. I searched high and searched low. No detachable genitalia. Then I spied something looking rather withered and crusty shoved in the corner on a row of shelves marked LOSERS. I found a blow-up doll thing-a-ma-jig...It had long since seen its prime and I was loath to put my lips on the tab to inflate it. I passed. Put it back on the LOSER shelf. You'll have to tell me where you shop, Kb.

    On a serious note, Kb outed himself as a male on my blog a few months ago. A flaming, heterosexual, loves-every-type-and-aspect of women (even the bitchy parts). The take away from his self-deprecating banter is that he is able to tap into the female side of his personality in really authentic ways. Because of his initials and the clever way he used to write ALL his posts, I was never certain of his gender. He'd blogged with me and when I inquired about his M/F status, he asked me, politely, in true Kb form, if I could write around it. Often we would talk about our kids and this roughneck cop sounded exactly like a mom (he must have been wearing his frilly apron). My point is that until he divulged his gender, on any given day, he was one us ladies. The day he sent me a love note saying he was a G U Y, my jaw hit the floor (and luckily I shut it quick cuz Kb has marvelous reflexes *toothy grin*).

    For readers, having Kb at the helm is going to be a compelling journey into the psyche of the characters. He comes by this brilliant talent naturally. I'm very excited to have him be my writing partner for RAZOR. I think we're both going to learn from each other.

    David, summer is young and there is plenty of time to pilfer yard ornaments and pool toys from your neighborhood and then have a fantastic yard sale to build your Come-to-Vegas-with-Kb-Margie-Js-and-Allure fund. Kb is taking me and Allure shopping on Saturday and it's boy's night out on Friday. It would be wonderful to have you there, too.

    It's always such a treat to visit with both of you...and I think we should tape down the toilet seat while Kb's a sleep. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  6. *snickers and slides the box to David.*

    ReplyDelete
  7. ROTFL! Lovin' this post. I think I'm going to link it up to my new website between writing advice and sex toys.

    Not sure where I could find a detachable penis, but maybe I could borrow a permanent one temporarily? I'm sure I could find a volunteer

    ReplyDelete
  8. Bianca!
    Bad girl! Bad!
    And you are so good when you're bad.
    (Relax, folks, we know each other)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Ohhh, I like Esmeralda. Can I borrow her? Can she pole dance? We could hit the street and Mawba through Bourbon Street.

    Hey Bianca, I know where you can get the detachable penis and they come in different sizes too. :D

    KevaD you are awesome and I like your choice of friends. KB, let that woman go and do what she does best!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Leave it to Jadette to have that kind of information.
    Don't tell my wife where she can get a set.

    ReplyDelete
  11. -shuffles in with coffee in hand-

    Good morning.

    Thanks you David. Extremely busy shift. Multiple shootings, including officers involved.

    Oh, I ALWAYS polish my nightstick; make sure it has a nice, glistening sheen to it.

    If you consider a spackle bucket a Dixie cup, David, then yeah, I hit bottom . . .


    -tossess off pink bunny slippers-

    Heels on.

    Ohhh. Hmmm. So sexy.

    I'd fuck me.

    @Amber: Hello! Pleasure to meet you and thank you for coming by. I'm quite playful.

    Erm, after my fist cup of joe!

    @Margie: For the record, sweet cheeks, blow-up dolls NEVER say no nor do they betray you and clean up real good with baby wipes. I'm blessed to count you as a friend. My life is enriched beyond measure to have you a part of it.

    Uh. Toilet lid taped down with Saran wrap.

    -goes to fetch mop and more baby wipes-

    @Bianca Heya! Thanks for truckin' on by! Link away, please!

    I'd lend you my penis, but no matter how hard I yank on it, it will not come off. It gets all red and angry. Then spits.

    Weird.

    @Jadette: Hi, welcome and thank you for taking the time to visit. Oh, Esmeralda is a BIG fan of the pole.

    She would love to run amock on Bournon street. If ya go with her bring bial money and a pistol
    'Nuff said.

    -whispers-

    Please don't tell here where should could score a bunch of detachable penises. I'd never get her to come of her room….

    ReplyDelete
  12. Google's being a pain in the behind.
    Folks, if you get that message on a white screen, just press your back arrow. That should take you back to the comment box with your comment that didn't take -- hit the post comment bar again.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Yeah. I found out the hard way.

    Grrr.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I apologize to those who have tried to leave a comment and couldn't. With over 200 hits as of now, I know there had to be a few.
    Nothing we can do but try and offer suggestions on how to git er done.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Kb, ROMLMAO you have ZERO internal censors. I am certainly not that way, but I always enjoy hanging around with those who don't stop anything from slipping from their lips . . .

    ReplyDelete
  16. I apologize, David. My testosterone wreaking havoc with you blog.

    -cheesy grin-


    BTW, how did you get into my photo album?

    The one with the pink wig is for personal use.

    Harumpf.


    Hi Margie.

    Yup. I'm not shy. Or decorous.

    I do dribble lotsa stuff from my lips.

    Wait.

    That doesn't sound right....

    ReplyDelete
  17. Apparently Blogger didn't approve of my bent offering. I guess a tuna wrapped in an overcoat isn't considered "appropriate." Although I notice Jadette brought a detachable penis... >.<
    Great post, KB! Maybe your muse and mine need to get together for coffee.
    Well, um...maybe not. Unleashing the plot bunnies THAT'S likely to spawn on an unsuspecting populace would get us BOTH locked up! Scaly, reptilian, red-eyed little cretins they are. (The bunnies, I meant.)
    And seriously: Break the man off some candy!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Comingling, humping plot bunnies legged with detachable penises.
    My poor blog.....

    ReplyDelete
  19. David, I am truly sorry I dragged your august blog into the back alley of Bloggerdom and violated it in unspeakable ways.

    @ JS Wayne: How-do, my friend, glad ya popped on over. Thanks for your kind words.

    So, -ahem- you call your junk 'Tuna'?

    Dude, you should be making movies.

    Smart thinking, JS. If our Muses mate..the hellish spawns would make Humanoids from the Deep look like Hello Kitty.

    Okay, Okay.

    Uh, hey David, I have some yummy chocolate for you. Just follow me into this nondescript white, Ford Econoline van. Ignore the duct tape and leather restrains bolted into the floorboards. It's my cousin's van. He installs carpet.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Js and Kb, if your muses mate, which one of you will be pregnant when we meet in Vegas? I want to bring a gift.

    Just think, a green-eyed pink-haired muse mates with a trench coat-wearing cod. *wipes a tear* It's so romantic. I think I'll blog about it. Who will guest me?

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  21. *makes note of JS breaking off the man-candy*

    ReplyDelete
  22. Is it safe to take off the anti-zombie gear? I was told there would be zombies :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. @Margie. JS. He has exquisite child bearing hips. and yes, I'd guest you!

    @Amber- ROLF. Yeah, that sounds like it might hurt.

    @Erika Hi! Thanks for stopping by. No zombies. Yet. Uncle George Romero bringing by later.

    And speaking of Zombies. I'd like to announce that JS Wayne and Erika have won a PDF copy of my Kindle zombie short- Dead Fall. Hit me up with your e-mails at kbcutter@gmail.com please so I can send some undead goodness to y'all.

    And to Amber, for her return appearance a copy of my Kindle Best-seller- Summer Heat! Send me your e-mail to kbcutter@gmail.com!

    More copies to give away and if ya want to take a gander at my upcoming Erotic Romance-The Darker Side of Heaven, from Noble Romance, go here to read a dark, gritty excerpt!


    http://www.kbcutter.com/coming-soon.html

    ReplyDelete
  24. Finally blogger/google loads it page....
    One ticked of wolf here.....*G*

    Ms Muse is one inventive woman..I'll give her that...*G*
    Detachable parts...unique POV.
    Too hysterical...I love it!
    And to think I just blonded my hair, maybe I should have done the pink ..nah purple. that's my favorite color....blonde with either streaks...that's the thing I hear anyway. At least I'd stand out when it snows....LOL

    Thanks for he contest!

    Darcy

    pommawolf @hotmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  25. Erika and Darcy:
    Thanks for perservering over Google.

    Congrats Darcy, JS, and Amber on the books.

    Keep commenting! We can still squeeze a little more out of KB.

    KB, if you really think you "violated" this blog, you haven't read some of the excerpts posted on here.
    I never used to have the content warning label.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Woot! You made it Darcy! Thanks so much for stopping by!

    David is right, keep squeezing. Dunno what is gonna come out, but it should be interesting.

    And wet.

    I did read the excerpts,David. They are all tastefully done. Me, on the other hand, am low rent!

    Listen. Your property values are declining...

    Darcy, e mail me and let me know which e-book you'd like.

    While I'm being Santa, I'd like to give Bianca and Jadette the chance to take home some goodies.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Better be careful mentioning "goodies" around Jadette.
    She has... "exotic"... tastes.
    Generally it involves amuptation, little spears and a fondu.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Thanks for the tip, David. I'll make sure to wear my brass codpiece around her.

    Hmm. While I dig fondue, don't want my 'tip' being speared and dunked.

    @Amber- You are quite welcome! At your convenience, please send me your e-mail address to kbcutter@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  29. Thank you Kb

    Sent you an email...
    I want what your drinking cause I'm laughing so hard.
    Margie,
    I want to read that blog when your done writing it. LOL
    *sniffle** I can't keep bunny slippers pink or otherwise.
    My daughters dog will drag them off and chew the nose off.
    Can wolfy slipper be the style? Your can even squeeze it's ear and it will howl for you! They look real good with pink thermals and purple thigh highs too.
    I know..not so great the heat index, but what can I say..it's Fairbanks!



    Darcy

    ReplyDelete
  30. Got your e-mail Darcy, Dead Fall on its way to your inbox. Thank you!

    Drinking Amstel Light. Tasty.

    Wolfie slippers are of equitable substitute since you do dwell in the last frontier!

    Gots ta keep warm.

    I'm wearing Flash-dance leg warmers 'cause I'm a maniac...maniac...

    ReplyDelete
  31. Darcy, when I get the clever blog written about the marriage of two muses, you'll be on the guest list. With me at the pen there'll be some tasteful comments and insightful phrases before it all slides into the vortex of near-porn quality. Of course if we're at Kb's place, you never know if he's gonna show up in drag just to mess with my mind or bring the handcuffs.

    BTW, Kb, did you bring your muse over to Js' or vise versa? I know they do that when they want puppies...just wondering. Seems like a science project to me.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Indeed. Margie will have this beautiful, eloquent poignant piece written.

    Then, I'll drag into the gutter.

    Oh, you stop by my pad, I have all kinds of accoutrements....

    Hmm, have not decided the venue for Hell Spawn Muse procreational coupling.

    Most likely my joint. Half Past Midnight Blog.

    It's seedy enough to get the job done

    ReplyDelete
  33. I'm SOOO boned.
    For the record, it was my muse topping his. Not that anyone will believe that. The CFM heels and a nightstick kinda beat out my boots and spatula.
    *facepalm* I'm wearing a paper bag over my head in Vegas. I was planning on it anyway, but now it's out of the realm of optional attire.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Margie,
    You let me know and Ill be there. Nothing wrong with near-porn, keeps things interesting and the comments on going...LOL
    Margie...I'll be there with my wolfy slippers and purple thigh highs. Can't say what else, but I'll be there.
    KB,
    I have to check out your blog..no doubt it will be enlightening to say the least. We learn something new everyday whether we want to or not...I'm sure keep me in laughing.

    ReplyDelete
  35. @JS I dig your accoutrements, mah friend. You got eclectic style.

    Getting boned? Ouch. I tried that. Cost me an extra 50 bucks from a tyranny hooked named Dicklesyia.

    I though she/he said to you want to get blowed.

    Hey Darcy, drop by the Blog. Its a work in progress. I dabble in posts and wicked sexy pictures. Gonna work it into a semi respectable place soon.

    Heavy on semi.

    Boy, did I feel stupid.

    ReplyDelete
  36. I'm going to say good night. Esmeralda getting restless. She needs to get a pack of smokes and a bottle of Jameson. She is in a very Mickey Spillane like mood.

    I want to thank everyone for coming by today. I loved chatting it up with each and everyone of you!

    Big major huge thank you to David.

    A truly generous talented gentleman.

    I'm sure David will allow use to keep a light on for some wayward stragglers.

    Take care, brush your hair.

    ReplyDelete
  37. bahaha, detachable genitalia. Wow, great post. Really enjoyable read. Thank you for sharing KB!
    ~Renee Vickers

    ReplyDelete
  38. Thank you Renee! Very kind of you to stop by.

    You have to leave with a door prize.

    Please send contact me kbcutter@gmail with your email and the book of your choice.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Thanks for dropping in, Renee!
    We really appreciate it.

    And thanks to every one of you who commented or looked in from the balcony!

    KB,
    Thank you so much for your generosity and time.
    Obviously, a lot of people enjoyed you being here, me most of all.
    Thanks again!

    ReplyDelete
  40. My pleasure, sir.

    Thanks for allowing me to run wild with your blog!

    ReplyDelete
  41. sounds like so much fun really ur a ne wto me author so deff be checking your work out awesome post wavesto margie!

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  42. @ SiNn- love your name! Thank you for stopping by and I hope you enjoy my wares.

    Uh . . . books, I mean!

    ReplyDelete